[Rant] Why Cheating In School Is NORMAL (Plus How To Not Get Caught)
Author: Charlie Bartlett // Category: Rants
Don’t get me wrong. Cheating used to be wrong. You know, way back when everyone was sincere. At that time the only way people got ahead in life was due to hard and HONEST work. But sadly, that isn’t the case anymore. Hell it probably never was! Take cheating on school tests for example. Every year, tests get HARDER and HARDER. Not because people are getting smarter and smarter, but because more and more people are cheating so the average test score goes up and they have to “balance” that out by making the tests harder. When in reality, all they’re doing is making it worse for those that DON’T cheat.
I RARELY cheated in high school (mostly because I didn’t care about grades and made A’s without trying too hard). But when I did it, I made sure to only do it in classes that didn’t really matter to my future career. You know, those USELESS classes that won’t help in real life (like HISTORY *cough*). I ALWAYS made DAMN SURE that I NEVER wrote down anything (I always memorized the answers EVEN if it was an essay).
Being the morally good person that I am (believe it or not I care), I was one of those people that DIDN’T give a shit about grades because, as I see it, grades don’t reflect how smart or good you are, but how smart or good someone else thinks you are. Since most tests these days are multiple choice (how fucking easy is that to grade?!) and usually only have ONE right textbook answer from some stupid standardized answer key, I think that the whole public education grading system is bullshit.
Real life isn’t JUST right and wrong. There isn’t only ONE way to solve a problem in real life.
So if you want to cheat, do it well and get away with it because you don’t think what you’re cheating on is important to learn. Don’t cheat because it’s “cool” or because you are scared of what other people think of your grades, or heaven forbid, because mommy and daddy have high expectations (my ASS they got all A’s).
Bottom line: Sometimes cheating isn’t wrong or right. Sometimes it’s just a part of life. When you grow up, no one cares what grades you got in high school or college. NO ONE. The fact that you graduated is good enough.
CHEATING TIPS:
- NEVER write down any cheat sheets (ESPECIALLY NOT ON YOUR HAND). IF you do, make sure you can COMPLETELY destroy the answers within seconds (for example, if they are electronic delete them, if they are on a stick of gum then eat them). In rare cases, people have to resort to swallowing bits of paper.
- Memorization is the best way to cheat without getting caught. Even if you have to memorize an entire essay, it’s still better than getting caught. If you’re desperate you could always write a complete essay, keep it in your binder, then swap it when the teacher isn’t looking (usually after she/he hands you the test and is STILL passing out more tests).
- On math tests, if you’re allowed a graphing calculator, just put all the formulas and stuff in notes application. Try to look online for programs that SOLVE problems for you. I used to have an app on my TI-83+ that solved quadratic equations. Also, I recommend getting a more advanced calculator than the teacher recommends. For example, some TI-89s can factor. Just makes sure you can BS your work.
- If you are good with hiding MP3 players, then record all of your answers in a program like Audacity and then save it as an mp3 then put it on your mp3 player. All you have to do is wear long sleeves and put your head close to your hand (where your earbuds/heaphones are hidden) then with your other hand hold your mp3 player and fast forward and rewind through the answers) this works best with vocab tests if you save a SEPARATE mp3 for each definition. Make sure you are careful to stay in the folder with ONLY the definitions with them during the test. The last thing you need is some loud burst of hip-hop because you accidentally skipped ahead too much.
Hope this helps. Feel free to share your cheating methods/stories below!
[edit: FOR A GREAT MOVIE ABOUT CHEATING CLICK HERE]
Related Posts:
- My 20th Birthday / How Have I Changed? [Site News/Rant]
- Things They Won’t Tell You About College [Rant]
- Cheaters (2000) [Movie]
- High School Confidential [TV Show]
- The Perfect Score (2004) [Movie]
Tags: cheaters, cheating, college, high school, right or wrong, School, tests
July 15th, 2008 at 4:14 pm
thanks for the tips, although i really have only cheated at vocab tests before lol
March 29th, 2009 at 10:42 pm
Nice! I never noticed this rant before. It’s gonna come in handy when I get to college next year lol
March 31st, 2009 at 4:37 am
Yeah I wouldn’t even call it “cheating” anyways. It’s just doing what you gotta to do get by these days. Some would call Bill Gates a cheater for stealing Steve Job’s concept when he was a teen working for him, but you look at the man now! Fucking wipes his ass with benjamins.
January 12th, 2010 at 9:19 am
I liked this one Charlie,but I do disagree. Cheating is wrong. There has to be some black and white issues. Somethings are just wrong. I feel that (*warning* unpopular opinion coming) comments like “i wouldn’t even call it cheating” are a symptom for a greater sickness infecting the mindset and character of us all. Just because its easy to say ‘fuck’ in class doesnt’ mean it’s contributing to anything, except to perpetuate the MYTH ones vocab is redundant. Just because cheating is a viable option (it always has been) doesn’t mean it doesn’t dent ones character. Of course it does. The irony is we’re cheating ourselves when we cheat the system. Not, as you very wisely pointed out, because the information and our ability to sustain it matters, but because it is a building block of our character. A fundamental one. Cheating begets cheating. Aren’t you sick of the Jerry Springer saturated mindset of life? Ugh. I am.
For the record I think all standardizing testing is a crock (*warning conspiracy theory coming*) to line the pockets of the suits of higher education.
I think I’m going to blog about Jerry today…thanks Charlie for inspiring me. Lately it is so hit and miss.
January 12th, 2010 at 11:55 am
While I can see how you feel that way- I once did. I don’t think there are ANY real black and white issues in the world. NO ONE and NOTHING is entirely “good” or “bad.”
When I said that “I wouldn’t even call it cheating” I meant that “cheating” is doing whatever it takes to get ahead- and sometimes it’s more efficient. I don’t feel bad for cheating in history because…well quite simply I didn’t hurt anybody and memorizing dates is useless anyways. I’m not going on Jeopardy anytime soon.
I think the real problem is the fact that schools no longer TEACH these days. Rather than being taught to question or think WHY things are the way they are, we simply memorize definitions and useless facts.
The education system is set up the way it is to make PROFIT and not to actually teach. Textbook companies MILK the system because all they have to do is reprint the same old shit from 10 years ago and throw in a few current events and pictures. If they REALLY WERE teaching then it wouldn’t be so easy for students to cheat. We’re just numbers to the school system at the end of the day.
Here’s how I view it: Whatever questions on a test that I can answer by searching Google in 5 seconds are USELESS and a waste of my time.
May 2nd, 2010 at 12:58 am
I have never understood why it is so necassary to know that “_____ treaty was signed on ______by _____ and _____”…..again why do i need to know when it happened? shouldnt the focus be on why it happened, and learning about why whoever was in charge fucked up so we know not to make the same idiotic mistakes? i feel like alot of the times the lessons really miss the whole point of what should be getting taught.
as far as math goes, waste of fucking time, yeah i get it SOME of it is used in CERTAIN careers…. terrific so why dont we leave this fucking ridiculously hard math to the kids who need it to do whatever hi-tech career they wish to persue instead of shoving it down a bunch of peoples throats who dont need it, and will never us it for whatever it is they wish to do in their life.
does somone who wants to study philosophy and religion or psycology need to know how to use a graphing calculator and be able to solve intense fucking like polynomial functions and shit, i dont think so bitches!
the school system can suck it.
i would cheat my way through, but im too scared of getting caught, my math teacher is insane and would probably kill me.
August 18th, 2010 at 1:40 am
I never believed in what people TOLD me to think. And that’s all most “teachers” are doing nowadays. My mom (a teacher) taught me that telling people what to think isnt how people learn… you have to teach them HOW to think.
I had a history teacher once whose tests were murder, but he didnt grade them, just went over them. I learned more in that one class for that one year than i ever did before *combined*!
—Jace from Tx
“whatever road you choose, I’m right behind you: win or lose.”